Most people, no matter how old they are, want to make their parents proud. People are keenly aware of their parent’s judgments & opinions of their parents more than anyone else. Even the highest level wrestlers are sensitive to the verbal & non-verbal praise and critique of their parents. Know this- you have the power to help them or hurt them more than anyone else in the world.
1. Verbally & Non-verbally communicate you believe in them. Kyle Dake said his mom told him he could do anything dozens of times every day!
2. Verbally & Non-verbally communicate that you accept them, love them, & are proud of them NO MATTER WHAT. Reinforce winning, perfection, & success are much lower on your priority list than their fun, happiness, & enjoyment- you might be surprised how much more success this brings with it.
3. Praise their performance, not their outcome. You want to complement a kid for positive qualities like wrestling hard, taking chances, going for moves, staying positive, maintaining composure, never quitting, etc. The wrestler mastering these qualities will eventually be the one who succeeds. Complementing them too much for winning teaches them that winning is all that matters, and by default losing disappoints you.
4. Ask your kid permission before giving your opinion/criticism. Ie. Would you mind my opinion… (This gives the kid a sense of power during a sensitive interaction).
5. Don’t always talk about wrestling too much at home. Let your kid bring it up first most of the time. Let your home be a place of peace, positivity, & mental recovery.
6. Be positive & supportive. 9 out of 10 times, this is what your kid would like.
7. If you read the forums, newspapers, rankings, box scores, DON’T talk about it with your kid.
8. Know your role. Wrestlers wrestle. Coaches coach. Officials officiate. Parents parent. And there should be very little, if any, overlap between them.
9. Don’t make match/tournament day special. Your kids can sense this & it usually leads to them doing the same thing. You want them treating everything the same, so should you.
10. When in doubt- LAY OFF! This is tough to do, but it is often the right thing to do, especially when you know your kid is already serious about the sport.