50 plus Ways Not to Become a State Champion
24 DEC 2019 | BY LEE HEISELMAN
1. Get a girlfriend during the wrestling season and break-up every other weekend.
2. Skip a wrestling tournament to go to a school dance.
3. Think you can not beat anyone ranked higher than you in the rankings.
4. You think the Fat-man’s roll will be your way to win every match.
5. You sleep during wrestling tournaments, instead of routing on your team-mates.
6. You sleep during wrestling tournaments, instead of watching other matches.
7. You hold hands with your girlfriend between matches.
8. Your diet consists of more junk food than healthy food.
9. During practice you are always spending time in the restroom.
10. During practice you are always taping or doctoring minor injuries.
11. Saying I can’t.
12. Wrestling the easiest/least experienced wrestlers in the room as often as possible.
13. Whinnying that practice is too hard.
14. Being mentally weak.
15. Joining a gaming club, instead of an offseason sport at school.
16. Never going to bed before midnight.
17. Spending more time drooling over other team’s cheerleaders and stats than preparing yourself for your match.
18. Your method of an extra workout is running your mouth.
19. Your only move is the cow catcher.
20. Do not come to any Christmas practices.
21. Go on family vacations during the wrestling season.
22. Drink illegal beverages during the season.
23. Put your party pictures on Instagram or Facebook.
24. Do dangerous activities during the season. Snowboard (for the first time), Double black Diamond skiing, snowmobiling without a helmet, being pulled behind a 4-wheeler on a car hood.
25. Not showering after practice, so that you catch every mat disease possible.
26. The closest you get to the weight room is passing by on the way to class.
27. Talk about how you used to be able to beat the crap out of a guy.
28. Get ridden out in important matches.
29. Choose both up instead of taking a free point.
30. Work on the parts of your wrestling that you already excel at.
31. Screw around when drilling new stuff.
32. “I lost that match because the ref screwed me over again”
33. You decide not to study for any of your classes.
34. Have mommy call in to get you out of school every time you aren’t feeling to well.
35. Your best roll model is a Pokemon Character.
36. Mountain Dew is your Gatorade.
37. Never try to shoot.
39. Never listen to your coaches.
40. Getting into a car accident between when school gets out and practice starting.
41. Skip practice because you have a headache… Skip practice at all!
42. Make excuses.
43. Gaining weight during practice.
44. Punching yourself in the face during practice.
45. Gaining 6 pounds when you ate just two fish sticks.
46. Cutting your head open head-butting the wall during sprints.
47. Skipping a weeks worth of practice to let your new tattoo heal.
48. Caring more about how your tattoo looks while you are wrestling instead of wrestling
49. Over sleep and miss weigh-ins.
50. Your sister has to leave practice to go home and wake you up for practice.